As I sit in awe at my growing belly I am perplexed at all of the decisions I will soon need to make. How long of a maternity leave should I take, should I come back to work, nanny or daycare, breast milk or formula, should I get a bassinet, should I keep my gym membership, what preschool should she go to… and the list goes on. Interestingly enough, everyone has an opinion about my pregnancy, motherhood, babies, and fewer opinions on all of the concerns I listed above. With as much crazy, unsolicited advice that I have gotten I am utterly shocked at the amount of lies that I have been told about pregnancy, and early motherhood.

9 Lies About Pregnancy:

Lie #1: You’re going to feel wonderful! Your skin will glow, your hair will be thick and shiny, and you’re going to feel beautiful.

Truth: Sometimes you feel wonderful, but mostly you feel huge.

Lie #2: You don’t look pregnant from behind.

Truth: This is the biggest lie ever… Pregnancy attacks the entire body.

Lie #3: There are plenty of different gadgets you can use to enhance your quality of sleep while pregnant.

Truth: Sleep only exists in 40 minute intervals, no matter how cushy the body pillow.

Lie #4: Your dog will know that you’re pregnant, and will be very well behaved.

Truth: The dog knew I was pregnant (or that something was changing), and showed all the signs of being anxious. Which is fun, because I needed to add “care for neurotic” dog to my pre-baby checklist!

Lie #5: Baby gear is basic to use, and very light!

Truth: There are a ton of la ws about ca r seats, the chest clips are super hard to move, the baby gate doesn’t stand up straight, and the stroller weighs a ton!

Lie #6: Everything is completely worth it the moment the baby arrives. You won’t even feel pain anymore.

Truth: Except for all weeks after birth when your nipples are chapped and bleeding, you’re deathly afraid to go to bathroom, and you realize that you didn’t lose all 40 pounds right when the baby came out.

Lie #7: Your body is meant to do this, and it will snap back in no time.

Truth: Define “meant to do this”, because it would seem like something that is “meant to do this” would be a lot easier, require far less medical attention, and would result in far less surgeries. Also, things do not “snap” back. They slowly change back into something, but something entirely different than before.

Lie #8: You will get sleep, but the first few months are the hardest.

Truth: It is all hard, and each stage is different, not easier.

Lie #9: Working out is going to be too hard.

Truth: A very positive thing: working out is different than before, but it feels so good to swim, you’re literally weightless and there is no pressure (from being huge) on your joints or hips!